Meaningless
by DatHeetJoella
Summary: What could have happened if Makoto didn't regain consciousness after almost drowning and Haruka had to give him CPR. Or, alternatively, when the obligatory beach episode goes wrong. MakoHaru
1. Part 1

**A/N:This fic was supposed to be part of my MakoHaru fic collection "Home is Where You Are" but this fic got so long that I thought it would be better if I posted it all by itself. Therefore, this fic was also a request that was anonymously sent to me on Tumblr. The prompt was "a hurt/comfort fic where haru had to do cpr on Makoto bc he didn't wake up after he almost drowned with some really emotional after effects" Considering the way this person phrased their request in the message they sent me, I think they didn't know about my collection of fic requests, so I hope that they'll see this fic and that they'll like it.**

 **I've been working on this for the majority of the past three months, so I really hope that you'll enjoy it.**

 **This fic was originally written as a one-shot, but considering the length and style of this fic, I decided that it would work better as a two-shot. I have finished this fic entirely, so I will post the second part some time next week, probably.**

 **If it weren't for this request, I most likely would never have written this fic since this is something that so many people have already written about this, but despite that I did enjoy writing my take on it. I do realise that this fic is not realistic. I tried to keep it as realistic as I could, but given the nature of the prompt, that is not completely possible. For the sake of this prompt, I ask you not to pay too much attention to it and see it as the work of fiction that it is. Thank you in advance.**

 **Anyway, I think I have rambled enough for now and I hope that you'll enjoy part one of this fic! ^^**

 **TW: mention of blood, but it's so tiny that you most likely won't even notice it.**

* * *

Thunder was rumbling, the wind was howling and the heavy rainfall was pattering, but Haruka barely noticed any of it as he was breathlessly dragging Makoto's limp body out of the raging ocean. It had taken all of his strength to fight against the wild water while simultaneously needing to keep his grip on Makoto and he was absolutely exhausted. Once they were out of the sea's range his legs gave out underneath him, dropping Makoto's heavy body clumsily onto the wet sand.

He only took a second to catch his breath before he turned to Makoto again. Grabbing him by the shoulders, he began to shake him in an attempt to make him regain consciousness.

"Makoto... Makoto!" he called, worry evident in his voice, "Wake up!"

Makoto was unresponsive and the panic within Haruka grew. Frantically he looked around himself for anyone, anything that could help him.

"Someone... Is anyone there?!" he yelled, "Nagisa? Rei!"

There was no one around; no reaction whatsoever. He was on his own.

His arms began to tremble as he lifted his finger to his mouth, trying to figure out what to do. With the terror and hysteria engulfing his mind it was hard to think clearly, but he knew he had to do something because if he didn't then Makoto, Makoto would…

That train of thought was cut off as the basic first-aid rules suddenly shot through his head. He leaned forward and took a look over Makoto's body.

"Is he injured?" he mumbled to himself, "No."

Trying to think of what was next, he pondered for a moment before he placed his head on Makoto's chest. He held his breath as he waited to hear the rhythmic beating of Makoto's heart, to feel his chest rise as his lungs filled with air.

He waited and waited and waited, but Makoto's chest stayed still. It took some time until Haruka finally accepted that he didn't hear a heartbeat nor the intake of breath.

Sitting back up, he knew he had to do something; if he didn't, then Makoto would die. CPR, he had to give him CPR, but where did he have to start? How many chest compressions? What could he do so Makoto would wake up again?

Fear made him freeze on the spot; fear of doing something wrong, fear of doing anything in general, fear of not doing anything at all, fear of Makoto dying.

Finally snapping out of his trance when the limited amount of CPR knowledge he had decided to bless him with the ability to recall it, he sat up again on his knees and put his hands on Makoto's chest. Then he began to push down, trying to get Makoto's heart to start pumping again.

He counted the compressions he did, trying to keep a steady pace and not press too fast. When he got to thirty he ceased his compressions and tilted Makoto's head backwards. With one hand on his chin and the other pinching his nostrils shut, Haruka leaned down and placed his lips over Makoto's, blowing once, twice, and watching how his chest rose as his breath filled Makoto's lungs.

"Makoto," he called again, but alas there was still no response.

So he returned to the compressions, desperately trying to keep Makoto alive. At first his head was void of any thoughts, too focused on counting compressions and breaths. But as time passed and Makoto stayed unconscious, the more worries shot through his mind.

What if he wouldn't be able to make Makoto wake up? They were on a deserted island with no hospital or medical care anywhere near them. In most cases of CPR the person still died and that was when there were trained professionals performing the compressions and rescue breaths, so how could he, an untrained, distressed teenager possibly save Makoto's life?

Despite that fact, Haruka knew he would never stop trying, wouldn't stop until Makoto was alive and breathing, wouldn't stop even if it would kill him.

"Makoto," he pleaded, "Makoto, please."

All of this felt like a horrible, horrible nightmare; one moment he's peacefully sleeping in his tent and the next he's doing everything he can to prevent his best friend from dying. And he hoped, wished, prayed that that was what it was: a nightmare, not reality. He would wake up any moment now.

But he didn't, because he was already awake; this was really happening. Makoto was slowly slipping away from him and he wasn't sure if he could actually hold onto him.

He didn't even notice that he was crying, his tears intermingling with the rain as they fell on Makoto's chest and face. His heart was beating harder and faster than it ever had yet all he wanted was for Makoto's heart to do the same.

Switching from chest compressions back to rescue breaths, Haruka had a hard time providing Makoto with air because he had started to hyperventilate. He demanded himself to get a grip, because he couldn't give up now. He couldn't lose Makoto due to his own incompetence.

"Makoto, please! Makoto!" he begged, his voice sounding alien to his own ears. Whether that was because it was so uncharacteristically loud, distressed and thick with tears or because he was so focused on the situation at hand that he didn't realise he had spoken, he didn't know, but it didn't matter.

What was he going to do? What was he going to do if he couldn't save Makoto, if he would lose Makoto, if Makoto would die? What would he do without Makoto?

No, he couldn't lose Makoto! He just couldn't! Makoto was his best friend, the most important person in the entire world, the person he loved. He couldn't lose Makoto. Makoto was his home, and he needed him more than anyone, more than anything. He was all Haruka had.

It was as if a haze overtook him; his ears were ringing and his vision was blurred, yet he couldn't stop with CPR, couldn't stop even if he wanted to or tried. As if a primal survival instinct had cut in and controlled his muscles. For his entire life he had done everything he could to protect Makoto, from ghosts, bullies, and most importantly, the ocean. He couldn't fail now, couldn't lose Makoto to what he feared the most.

"Please, Makoto. Please wake up," he whispered through his hiccups, "I can't lose you, Makoto, I can't." The more he said, the louder his voice became to the point where he was screaming out Makoto's name, begging him to wake up and return to his side where he belonged, alive and well.

Hours, days, weeks had passed since Haruka had begun his attempt at keeping Makoto alive - at least, that's what it felt like to Haruka. However, no matter how much time passed, Makoto wasn't waking up, didn't respond to his voice nor his compressions and breaths. But he just couldn't give up, he couldn't lose his best friend, he couldn't let Makoto die.

So he pressed harder, the rhythm becoming irregular as his strength was slowly seeping away, his arms growing tired and they started to hurt, but he would continue until he was physically incapable to, wouldn't stop until his limbs fell off.

With what felt like his last breath he leaned down again to seal Makoto's lips with his, blowing once and inhaling for the second one, when salt water was suddenly sent down his throat, making him reflexively pull away to cough.

When he had rid his lungs of the water he suddenly inhaled he looked back at Makoto and saw him turned on his side, violently coughing up salty water. Once all of the water had left his lungs, he turned on his back as he desperately tried to get oxygen back into them.

Blue eyes widened in disbelief. "M-Makoto?" he hesitantly questioned, not trusting his own eyes and ears.

Slowly one of Makoto's eyes opened and found the source of the voice that had spoken. "Haruka?"

His voice was rough, like the salt in the ocean had cut his vocal cords and deformed the once angelic melody he used to speak in. His green eye was glazed over, almost as if he wasn't quite awake yet and he was frowning in what seemed to be pain and discomfort. The pattern of his breathing was irregular and he seemed to flinch with every inhale and exhale. But none of that mattered to Haruka, because Makoto was alive. _Makoto was alive!_

Overwhelming relief washed over Haruka in the form of tears and cries of Makoto's name. He fell down on top of Makoto's torso as sobs wrecked his body, loudly wailing into Makoto's chest.

"Ow, ow!" Makoto protested, but Haruka couldn't hear him over the sound of his own bawling. Makoto slowly lifted his arms to cup Haruka's head and back. "Haru, what-"

"Ah, there they are! Haru-chan, Mako-chan!"

At the sound of Nagisa's voice calling out Makoto turned his head to his right, making out the figures of Nagisa and Rei as they ran towards them. Unlike Makoto, Haruka didn't look up, instead kept crying into Makoto's chest.

"Rei, Nagisa," Makoto muttered, "What's going on? Where are we?"

Ignoring Makoto's quiet questions, Nagisa continued, "Ah, I'm so glad you're both okay!"

"He's not okay!" Haruka yelled through his sobs and only then did Nagisa notice that he was bawling his eyes out, "He needs to go to a hospital. Right now!"

"What?" Nagisa and Rei asked simultaneously, frowning in worry as they looked at Makoto.

"What?" Makoto echoed in confusion, "Haru, I'm fine, I-"

"You're not fine!" Haruka insisted, looking up for the first time to meet Makoto's hazy gaze, "I had to give you CPR! You could have _died_!"

Speaking those words confirmed that this had actually just happened. He actually could have lost Makoto. That thought alone was enough to reduce him to a sobbing mess again, incoherently rambling underneath his breath.

"What?"

"We have to go back immediately," Rei said decisively, "He needs urgent medical care."

"But how are we going to get back? We're on a deserted island. I doubt there's anyone with a boat around here," Nagisa argued.

"We have no other choice; we're going to swim back to get help."

"Rei-chan, are you insane?!"

"I know it's dangerous but we have no other choice! The storm has calmed down a little so we can make it."

"But you can't even swim that well! You swimming in this storm was what got us into this situation in the first place!"

"I know that!" Rei yelled, looking genuinely hurt by Nagisa's words even if he knew they were the truth, "Nagisa-kun, we have no time to argue about this. If we don't go right now then Makoto-senpai can die! I know I can't swim that well but it's not safe for you to go in alone and Haruka-senpai is in no state to swim. I wouldn't say this if we had any other options."

"Okay, okay!" Nagisa gave in, defensively holding his hands up. "So what are we going to do?"

"We're going to swim back as fast as we can and when we get to shore you go wake Amakata-sensei and Gou-san and let them call an ambulance to wait for us at land. I'll look for a coast guard or someone with a boat who can help us get back here and bring us back to the mainland."

"Wait, what?" Makoto asked, not completely able to keep up with the situation. Everything went too fast for his mind to comprehend and he still had no clue what was going on or where they were. All he knew was that Haruka was crying, Rei and Nagisa were arguing, and something about CPR? His mind was foggy and the lack of oxygen in his blood made it hard for him to piece the truth of what had happened together from the bits of information he had been able to gather from his surroundings.

"Don't worry, Makoto-senpai. We'll come back with help as soon as we can," Rei dismissed, not bothering to explain the situation because he knew they had no time to spare. Then he turned to Haruka. "Haruka-senpai. Haruka-senpai!" he called until he got Haruka's attention and he looked up, "Keep talking to him at all costs. No matter what happens, he cannot lose consciousness. Do you understand?" When Haruka didn't respond, he sternly repeated, "Do you understand?!"

The seriousness and authority in Rei's voice took Haruka by surprise and made something snap inside of him. He realised that this was no time to cry and feel sorry for himself. Even if Makoto was alive now, he wasn't safe yet. The risk of losing him was still very much present and if he lost consciousness now then he was pretty much done for. And he needed to do everything within his power to prevent that from happening.

Knowing that he had to pull himself together, he sniffed deeply and swallowed the saliva that had built up in his mouth before he nodded.

"Alright. We'll be back as soon as we can," Rei told Haruka before he turned back to Nagisa, "Nagisa-kun, let's go."

While Rei and Nagisa ran back into the ocean, Haruka turned his attention back to Makoto, trying to think of what he should say. His mind was blank but he reminded himself that it didn't matter what he said, as long as Makoto remained awake and responsive. So he began to blabber about everything and anything, about the swim club and the training camp, about his family and the neighbourhood's stray kittens, all the while making sure that he asked questions to keep Makoto involved in the conversation.

Makoto's responses were vague and incoherent, nothing at all what they usually would have been. It seemed as if he had trouble recalling the past couple of days as the confusion in his answers was clear. Besides that he looked like he was so tired, like he hadn't slept in days and could fall asleep any moment and although the sight of sleepy Makoto was usually cute and endearing, right now it was the second-most terrifying thing he had ever seen - only the sight of Makoto's lifeless body beat it.

Despite the fear that came with Makoto being tired and confused, Haruka knew that he shouldn't let that fear consume him, knew that he couldn't be swept away by it because he had an important duty to fulfill. He could cry later but right now, Makoto's life was in his hands and he would never forgive himself if Makoto would die.

So he kept talking, reminding Makoto of things his hazy brain couldn't remember, explaining things it couldn't comprehend. Words that were meaningless and phrases that were nonsensical. Repeating Makoto's name over and over when he thought he had slipped away and breathing a small sigh of relief when Makoto reacted to him again. Even though Makoto didn't really know what was going on, he seemed to understand that he had to stay awake as he was practically fighting to - fighting for his life.

A century had passed before a small boat arrived at the deserted island and from that moment on everything blurred together for Haruka.

Rei and a man they didn't know jumped overboard and swum towards them, lifting Makoto up and bringing him back to the boat with Haruka following closely after them. Once everyone was back onboard they went towards the docks as fast as they could. Everyone around him was talking but Haruka didn't register any word that was spoken for all his attention was focused solely on Makoto, making sure that he would stay conscious and responsive.

When they finally got to the harbor an ambulance was already waiting for them. Two paramedics stood on the dock with a stretcher and as soon as the boat came to a halt they jumped inside and took Makoto out of it, putting him down on the stretcher and strapping him to it. Then they sped back to the ambulance and Haruka automatically followed them, getting into the back of it. The doors closed behind him and immediately they drove off, rushing back to the hospital.

Haruka turned his head back to Makoto and saw that his eyes were closed; he had lost consciousness and though that worried him, he didn't freak out like he would have done minutes earlier. An oxygen mask was put over his nose and mouth and one of the paramedics was sticking patches to his chest. The sight of seeing his Makoto, big and strong Makoto, so helpless tugged at his heartstrings and tears were welling up in his eyes again.

He felt like he had failed Makoto. Even if he wasn't gone yet, he was only barely hanging on and if Haruka had successfully protected him like he always promised himself he would, then none of this would have happened. Then Makoto wouldn't be forced to fight for his life after almost drowning. If Haruka had used his head and stayed true to this promise, then this wouldn't be happening; then they wouldn't even have gone on this stupid training camp to begin with. He never should have agreed to it in the first place.

Those thoughts made the lump in his throat grow and he had a hard time breathing because of it. He reached out and grabbed Makoto's hand in an attempt to ground himself. Makoto's skin was as cold as ice and Haruka's common sense did its very best to remind him that it was not because Makoto was dead, but because of the rain and the wind.

His ears were ringing with the blood that was rapidly coursing through his body, making it hard for him to pick up the sounds of the sirens, the beeping of the machines and the voices of the paramedics. All he could hear was the voice inside of his head, chants of Makoto's name repeating itself along with prayers to any deity that was willing to listen to please save Makoto.

He was trying his very best to stay positive and hopeful; Makoto was in the hands of professionals now, of people who have dealt with situations like this a million times before. But the sceptical, almost negative side of him was doing its very best to tear him apart bit by bit and the what-ifs that were eating away at him weren't helping either.

And then, amid the rustle of all the sound that his brain couldn't register, the sentence that was worse than his most fearsome nightmares broke through the white noise.

"We're losing him!"

At that moment it was as if Haruka's own heart ceased its beating. His blue eyes widened as terror and panic filled every part of him. He jumped up from his seat and Makoto's name left his lips in a desperate whisper. When he tried to get closer to Makoto one of the paramedics pushed him away and yelled something at him that he couldn't make out over the sound of his own frantically thumping heart. His hand was pulled out of Makoto's and the same paramedic held out his arm in front of him to keep him away from Makoto's body. Instinctively Haruka tried to pry his arm away but when he saw the defibrillator in the other paramedic's hands, his common sense told him to stay put.

"Clear!" the man called before he put the pads down onto Makoto's chest and side. The electric shock that left the pads vibrated through Makoto's body, shooting through him as it made its impact. Then the heart monitor that he was hooked up to returned to its previous rhythmic beeping with regular intervals. "Safe."

A wave of relief washed over Haruka and a big sigh left his lips as he fell back into his seat. The arm that was in front of him dropped back to the paramedic's side and the man stepped aside. Seeing this as an opportunity, Haruka reclaimed his hold on Makoto's hand, gripping him tightly yet gently with both hands. Automatically he lifted Makoto's hand to his face and pressed a long kiss against Makoto's knuckles, needing his hopes and wishes to be conveyed to Makoto through his lips and praying that they will somehow encourage Makoto, help him fight. Closing his eyes for a stronger impact, he withdrew his lips and tilted his head so his forehead rested against the back of Makoto's hand, his tears dripping onto Makoto's skin. He remained like that for the rest of the ride, needing the leverage of Makoto's touch for reassurance and comfort.

The entirety of the ride to the hospital seemed much shorter than it actually was, at least felt like that in comparison to when he had to wait for Nagisa and Rei to return with help. They came to a halt before Haruka even noticed it and he was pulled from his prayers when Makoto's hand was taken out of his to be put back next to his legs on the stretcher. The doors of the ambulance flew open again and then Makoto was gone, the paramedics having taken Makoto away without his realisation and he was left in bewilderment.

The second it hit him he leapt out of the ambulance and saw the back of the stretcher being rushed into the emergency room. Although he was not very quick nor graceful on land like he was in the water, right then he ran as fast as his legs could carry him to follow after Makoto and not lose sight of him, not caring or even feeling how the pavement scratched at his bare feet.

The adrenaline inside of him made him run harder and faster than he ever had before and he ran through the automatic doors of the emergency room. Though the paramedics were rushing and rapidly pushing the stretcher through the hallway, they weren't running like Haruka was. He almost caught up with them when they went through another set of doors when he was suddenly held back by a nurse.

Trashing around to get out of her grip, he yelled out Makoto's name. A second nurse came to assist the first and they were talking to him but he couldn't hear them over the sound of his own screams. The stretcher that carried Makoto was long since out of sight but he needed to stay by his side. He couldn't be separated from him because he was afraid that Makoto would die if he didn't; he felt like _he_ was dying every second he was apart from him and not knowing how he was doing.

After the umpteeth attempt of escaping the hold of the nurses failed, every bit of adrenaline that had kept him going left his body at once. He quit resisting and fell to his knees, his mouth open with the protests that were not going to be voiced. What was he going to do if something happened to Makoto and he wasn't there to protect him?

The second nurse grabbed him by his arm and pulled him back to his feet, mumbling something about him blocking the way. As if his body was on automatic pilot he dragged himself to a vacant chair and plopped down on it, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them as quiet tears cascaded down his cheeks again, silent sobs wrecking through his body.

Now there was nothing left to do for him but wait, he allowed himself to cry and go over everything that had happened within the last hours; how he got from sleeping in a tent on the beach to crying into his knees at the emergency room while he waited for any sign that would let him know his best friend would survive.

It was his fault, because he never should have agreed to this training camp; if he never went along with starting the swim club, then none of this would have happened. It was Nagisa's fault, because Nagisa suggested they start the swim club and planted the idea in their heads; because he was so insisted on sharing a tent with him that Makoto was forced to share with Rei and therefore sleep in a different tent than Haruka, which prevented him from being able to protect Makoto from his biggest fear that was only a couple of meters away from them. But most of all, it was Rei's fault. If Rei hadn't gone out to swim in the ocean at night then Makoto wouldn't have been forced to put his life on the line to try to save him from drowning. If Rei wouldn't have been such an idiot then Makoto would still be sound asleep in his futon instead of fighting for his life at the ER. And if Makoto would end up paying the highest price for Rei's stupidity, then Haruka knew he would never forgive Rei. Never.

"Haru-chan!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

The voices of Nagisa and Kou echoed through the room and Haruka tilted his head so he could peer in the direction of the sound as saw them jogging towards him, accompanied by - albeit slower - Rei and Amakata-sensei.

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa repeated, "How is Mako-chan? Where is he?"

A shrug was the only response Haruka gave. How was he supposed to know?

"I contacted Tachibana-kun's parents and they should be coming over here as soon as they can. Have you heard anything about his state, Nanase-kun?" Amakata-sensei asked. When Haruka dejectedly shook his head, she continued, "Then I suppose there's nothing for us to do but wait."

They all took place in the empty seats next to him, all in varying states of concern. In contrast to when they were at the island, Nagisa was positive and optimistic; he kept mentioning that he was sure that Makoto would be alright, because why wouldn't he be? He was young, healthy and strong, so there was no reason for him not to be. A little bit of water surely wouldn't kill him, right?

No one argued with him; in fact, no one responded in general. It was not so much that they agreed with him, but rather that they couldn't find the strength to list all of the facts that contradicted his words. Whether Nagisa genuinely believed that Makoto would be okay or if he just kept saying it not only to convince everyone else that his words were true and attempt to keep everyone's spirits up, but also to make himself believe his claims, Haruka didn't know, but he didn't really care either. He was just trying to tune Nagisa out for now so he could focus on his own thoughts and prayers.

When Nagisa repeated it for the twentieth time in the past fifteen minutes, Rei couldn't take it anymore. He burst out in tears and covered his face with his hands in an attempt to conceal his loud sobs, but it was to no avail. Nothing was left of the pragmatic attitude he had when the four of them had been at the island; like the plug to all of his accumulated feelings had been pulled now that the situation was out of his hands and there was nothing left that he could do.

The sudden shift in Rei's demeanour surprised all of them; none of them had ever seen such an emotional display from the boy that was usually nothing but calm and collected. Rei had always behaved as if he kept his cool at all times, because losing it without knowing every detail about a specific scenario would be illogical.

Haruka didn't even know why he was crying so hard. He barely even knew Makoto, met him only a month or two ago. Makoto didn't mean nearly as much to him as he did to Haruka. If Makoto were to die that would be unfortunate to Rei at most, but to Haruka... his life would be destroyed if something were to happen to him. And besides, it was _his_ fault that this was happening. So how dare he sit here and bawl his eyes out? What gave him the right to act as if he was just as worried as the rest of them?

At that moment it was as if every single emotion that was coiling in Haruka's stomach turned into sheer anger targeted towards Rei. He bit his lip to prevent all of the venom coursing through his veins from flowing out of him all at once. It was useless to waste his energy on Rei anyway, he didn't deserve whatever reaction Haruka could give him. Focusing on Makoto and praying for his well-being was much more important. For now, he would try to tune Rei and his existence out, try to forget he was even here and direct his attention at the person who deserved it more than anyone else. Who mattered more than anyone else.

"H-Hey," Nagisa tried to console but it only caused Rei to wail even louder.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whimpered, repeating this apology over and over, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"Rei-chan, it's not your fault. I didn't mean what I said at the island, you know that, right?"

"But Nagisa-kun, you were right: it _is_ my fault! If I hadn't gone out to swim at night then Makoto-senpai wouldn't have to come and try to save me. When I saw him coming to help me, he didn't seem like his usual self..."

"He'll be fine!" Nagisa brushed off, clearly trying to make the whole situation sound as light and trivial as possible, like Makoto stubbed his toe or scraped his knee on the pavement and was inside getting a band-aid. "It's Mako-chan we're talking about. Of course he'll be alright!"

"Just because he'll live does not mean he'll be alright!" Rei suddenly yelled, his voice full of all the pent up emotions that had built up these past couple of hours and his cheeks were blazing red with tears and exertion. "Even if he'll survive this, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's okay! What if he has permanent brain damage? What if he has to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair? What if he is not the same Makoto-senpai when he wakes up?"

Nagisa's mouth had fallen open at Rei's outburst and he was rendered speechless. He licked his lips and swallowed thickly, not knowing what to say to the words that had been playing at the back of everyone's mind, yet no one had dared to voice them. The chances of Makoto coming out of this unscathed were practically null; even if Haruka didn't know exactly how long it took for Makoto to wake up for his perception of time was all over the place, it had been at least a good few minutes before he had regained consciousness. During that time Makoto's brain suffered a severe lack of oxygen and that could've done some serious damage, and it most likely did. So even if Makoto would survive, there was an incredibly big chance that he would be injured for life, physically like paraplegia but mentally as well, like amnesia or worse.

Once more Haruka cursed Rei and he bit the inside of his lip even harder, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. Why did he have to bring this up right now? Even if they all knew the risks very well, that didn't mean that he had to speak them aloud, to bring them up so they all had no other choice but to face reality. Somehow, the fact that Makoto would probably be anything but okay felt all the more real now.

His chest was heavy and ached deeply, like Rei had personally stabbed him in his gut with his stupid action and was now rubbing salt into the wound with his words. He wanted to cry but he had seemingly no tears left, had been drained from them along with the energy that had kept him going. This once again made him feel furious towards Rei, because he was able to cry while Haruka was left with a lump in his throat and a figurative knife between his ribs.

It was silent for a few minutes, save for Rei's sobbing that was gradually decreasing in volume and the faint noises of the hospital. When he was only softly sniffling, he cleared his throat.

"If something happens to Makoto-senpai then that's my fault," he stated, sounding lost, broken, but most of all guilty.

Hearing Rei say this made something inside of Nagisa click and he turned back to Rei. "It's not your fault," he said in a tone that was low and serious, "You didn't mean for this to happen. You were just trying to practice, right? You couldn't have known that things would turn out like this. _No one_ could have predicted this. We don't blame you, so you shouldn't blame yourself."

Although Haruka very much disagreed with that, he kept quiet. He dug his nails into his skin and averted his head, pointing his gaze at the doors through which Makoto had disappeared instead.

Not a single word was spoken after that.

"Haru-chan!"

Turned out his previous claims were wrong: he definitely had some tears left to cry.

When he heard that familiar voice call out his name he turned his head to face the door and saw Mrs. Tachibana walking towards him followed closely by Mr. Tachibana, the waterworks started all over again. He got up without even realising what he was doing.

"Oba-san," he wailed and when she got close enough she wrapped her arms around his back. Although Haruka wasn't really someone who craved physical contact, he hugged her back, bending his neck to bury his face in her shoulder, allowing her to comfort him the way only a mother could.

Unlike Haruka, Mrs. Tachibana wasn't crying, even though she must be just as upset and scared as he was. She had always been so level-headed and he really appreciated that about her, now more than ever. He guessed she had no other choice, being a mother of three - or sometimes even four - children who were all dependant on her, she basically had no other choice but to be a boulder of support on which they could lean back. Still, that didn't mean that Haruka didn't admire her for it, because she had always been there for him as well - perhaps even more than his own mother was lately.

"Shh, Haru-chan, it's okay," she muttered, stroking his hair in a soothing way. Her presence was different from Makoto's, but almost as calming. She just had this gentle aura that he couldn't describe as anything but motherly, like she just emitted nurturing and wisdom. It made him feel like everything would be okay as long as she was there, because she would make sure of it and he almost believed it too.

"Have you heard anything yet?" Mr. Tachibana asked. He wasn't crying either, but there was a certain panic in his voice that he wasn't able to conceal completely. Most people probably didn't notice it, but even if he wasn't visibly showing distress, it was easy to tell that he wasn't as collected as usual.

"Not yet," Amakata-sensei responded, shaking her head dejectedly.

"I see," Mr. Tachibana said, a hint of sadness in his tone, "I'll go ask if they know something at the front desk."

"I'm sorry!" Rei suddenly yelped as he jumped up and bowed deeply before Mr. Tachibana, tears running down his cheeks and startling everyone.

"...For what?" Mr. Tachibana questioned in confusion, clearly caught off guard by this boy he didn't really know bowing and apologising to him.

"Makoto-senpai... It's my fault that- that Makoto-senpai..."

"It's not your fault," Nagisa sighed as he pulled him back into his chair. Then he turned back to Makoto's father, "It was an accident."

Mr. Tachibana only nodded, showing that Nagisa could spare him the details until later and that all he cared about at that moment was the well-being of his son. He walked around his wife and Haruka and dropped the bag he was holding onto the chair next to Haruka's before he walked over to the front desk.

In the meanwhile Haruka's sobs had died out again for the most part and he released his hold on Mrs. Tachibana. She did the same and rummaged a bit in her handbag and grabbed a packet of tissues out if it, pulling one tissue out and she offered it to Haruka. While Haruka was blowing his nose, she spoke up.

"We brought you some clothes, you must be freezing."

Only then did Haruka realise that not only he, but Nagisa and Rei as well were wearing nothing but their damp shorts - and in Rei's case legskins. Due to all the commotion and adrenaline he hadn't even noticed it, didn't even feel the cool air of the ER nor the goosebumps on his skin.

"Why don't you go put them on? They're Makoto's, so they'll be a little big on you, but that's okay, right?" Mrs. Tachibana offered as gently as she could, and when Haruka nodded in confirmation she stepped beside him to open the bag her husband had put onto the chair next to them. She pulled out Makoto's salmon-coloured shirt and a pair of black, knee-length pants as well as a plastic bag to put his wet shorts in and handed them over to Haruka, who accepted them without a word.

A weird sense of disappointment shot through his stomach when he looked at the shirt in his arms. Although he didn't dislike this shirt - not at all, in fact it looked very good on Makoto - it wasn't his favourite, the orange and yellow shirt that he always wore when he slept over at Makoto's. Although it seemed stupid to complain about what shirt he got to wear when he didn't know if his best friend was going to walk out of this place alive and well, the shirt was a small detail that could have given Haruka even a little bit of comfort. Not that this shirt wasn't good enough, but that shirt was just special.

But then he remembered that it couldn't have been that shirt, because Makoto was wearing it yesterday, had pulled it off before he had ran into the ocean to save Rei, letting it be carried off by the wind just like his own shirt had. It was a selfish and immature thought, but a tiny part of him was hoping that they would be able to find the shirt back once all of this was over. He couldn't even bring himself to feel guilty about it, all it did was target more anger towards Rei for making him lose his favourite shirt.

"Well then," Amakata-sensei said as she got up, "We should take our leave: I have to go bring Hazuki-kun, Ryugazaki-kun, and Gou-chan home."

"Thank you," Mrs. Tachibana thanked as she bowed to her, not specifying the reason behind her words but apparently she didn't need to as Amakata-sensei nodded in understanding, "If we hear anything, we'll let you know."

"Thank you," Amakata-sensei echoed accompanied with a bow of her own.

"I'm so sorry," Rei blubbered again, directing his bow and apology towards Mrs. Tachibana this time, who was just as lost as her husband had been yet she did a better job at hiding it.

"It's not your fault," she replied, clearly copying what she heard Nagisa say earlier. "Why don't you go home to get some rest?" She pulled another tissue out of the packet and offered it to the sobbing, half-naked boy that was standing in front of her.

"Y-Yes ma'am," he stuttered as he gratefully accepted the tissue and loudly blew his nose. If he were to see himself right now he'd surely describe the sight of it as 'not beautiful'.

Haruka was glad that he was leaving; he couldn't stand being with him in one room any longer. Even though she did nothing to give this impression, Haruka could tell that Mrs. Tachibana shared this sentiment, although her reasoning behind it probably differed from his. Unlike him, she wasn't angry at him nor did she blame him for what happened to her son simply because she didn't know what exactly had happened to him, but she was very upset and needed to focus her attention on her family and her own thoughts and prayers rather than putting energy in trying to comfort some boy she hardly even knew.

They said some more goodbyes and wishes of well-being but Haruka didn't bother to stay and listen. Instead, he walked into the restrooms to change into Makoto's clothes.

When he was done and came back into the room everyone had left save for Makoto's parents, who were now sitting in the seats that had been previously occupied by Nagisa and Rei. Haruka sat back down in his own chair without uttering a word, putting the plastic bag down on the chair beside him, drawing his knees back to his chest and resting his chin atop of them.

Makoto's clothes smelled like laundry detergent and the shirt in particular also had a whiff of what he couldn't describe as anything but Makoto himself. A mixture of emotions welled up inside of Haruka, like the scent of home strengthened the feelings that had already been swirling through his body for the last couple of hours. Longing and dreading, hoping and fearing, yearning and praying, loving... it was all too much for him at once. Never in his life could he have believed he would be so frightened by a situation simply because he didn't have control over it. Then again, he had also believed that Makoto would always be his side without question and he had been wrong about that too. So Haruka knew that if they were lucky and blessed enough for Makoto to survive, then he would never take him for granted again.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he tried to get his mind off of things because his head was anything but pleasantly empty like he wanted it to be. It was difficult because his thoughts did their very best to destroy him from the inside, like there was a little devil on his shoulder who was whispering in his ear and personally planting the most fearsome thoughts into his brain.

At this point it was easy to conclude that the worst part was the uncertainty of it all. If he were to know for sure that Makoto would be alright then he wouldn't have to be afraid, then he could just sit here and wait for Makoto to walk back out here so he could wrap his arms around him and never let him go again. If he were to know for sure that Makoto wouldn't make it then all of his attention would be focused on grief and depression and anger, but because nothing was set in stone yet he was feeling all of that in combination with hope. Of course, he would rather live in uncertainty for the rest of his days than to lose his Makoto, but that didn't mean that it wasn't killing him. Didn't mean that it wasn't tearing him apart bit by bit, demolishing him mentally and physically as well - at least, it felt like it was.

Tears were burning in his eyes again and he did his very best to swallow them, which the large lump that had formed itself in his throat only made harder. He didn't want to cry again, not now Makoto's parents were here. Not because he was ashamed to cry in front of them, but because he knew that this was just as hard for them as it was for him and he didn't want to force them to worry about him when they should be worrying about their son first and foremost. He had already drawn the attention to himself earlier when Mrs. Tachibana had to comfort him, he couldn't selfishly demand that they focus on him instead of their own feelings.

Trying to look for something, anything that could stop the train of depressive thoughts from continuing to crash inside of him, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Where are Ren and Ran?"

Despite the fact that the location of the twins was the least of his concerns right now, he couldn't help but ask about it, desperate for a distraction even if he could never completely take his mind off reality.

Apparently the reason behind his almost irrelevant question didn't get lost on Mrs. Tachibana, as she smiled sympathetically at him before she said, "They're at home; Tamura-san is with them. Since we wanted to get here as soon as we could we didn't have time to wake them and bring them to their grandparents, so we were glad that Tamura-san was willing to watch them for us."

That answer did not surprise Haruka as much as it should have. Back when his mother moved out of the house to live with his father and he was left all by himself, Tamura-san had told him that he could always come to her if something was up, emergency or not. Of course, if a situation like that were to occur then he would always go to Makoto's family first, but regardless of that he had really appreciated the old lady's offer. So he supposed that she had done a similar proposal to the Tachibanas.

Tamura-san had always been that kind; he remembered an instance back when Makoto and he were in elementary school and Makoto had tripped and scraped his hands while they were running up the stone steps leading to their houses. The skin of his palms was torn and they were bleeding a bit, and Makoto had to do everything he could to prevent the tears that were burning in his eyes from spilling over - whether it was the actual pain or just the sight of blood that almost made him cry, Haruka didn't know.

Tamura-san had been sweeping her porch and saw the scene unfold. She came over to them and when she made sure Makoto wasn't badly injured, she had offered them to come inside so she could disinfect his wounds. Once inside Tamura-san had warned Makoto that the disinfectant could sting a little and the sheer mention of it made Makoto's breath hitch. But there was nothing to fear, Tamura-san reassured, because she had something special to give him: magical cookies that could make every little pain disappear within an instant. Immediately Makoto's expression changed from sad to amazed and he asked if they really worked.

'Of course,' Tamura-san had said, 'Try them for yourself.'

She held a plate of cookies in front of him and Makoto reached out to take one before he halted and asked, 'Can Haru-chan have a cookie too?'

'Of course,' the old lady echoed and when Makoto took a cookie off the plate with a wide smile, she shifted the plate to offer Haruka one, who accepted one silently.

'Wow!' Makoto had exclaimed after he ate half of his, 'They really work! My pain is gone!' To Haruka it tasted like any normal cookie, but if Makoto confirmed that they worked, then he supposed they were magical.

If only Tamura-san had some magical cookies that would ensure that Makoto would be safe and sound.

A deep sigh left his lips as he let his feet slide off the chair and onto the floor. Recalling that memory made him wish that he could rewind time and prevent all of this from happening. If he could have a second chance to do all of this over then he would make sure to do everything right this time; he would protect Makoto from all of this. But it was useless to think about this, because he wouldn't get a second chance. This was his one and only shot and if he wasted it with his incompetence then he would have to live for the rest of his life with the misery of his failures, with the knowledge that he could have prevented Makoto from dying if it weren't for his own incapability and that he would have to miss his most important person.

If Makoto were to pass away, then Haruka would die right with him.

A small, soft hand was placed over his own, which were turning white with how hard he was squeezing them together. He looked up at Mrs. Tachibana and loosened his grip. She didn't say a word, just looked at him as she caressed the crescent moon-shaped imprints his nails left on his hands.

With just that, the thoughts that had been cutting at his soul vanished. The look in her dark green eyes was calming and almost reassuring. Although her true feelings were probably nowhere near what she feigned them to be, it reminded Haruka that it was useless to let his own imagination eat away at him when they didn't know anything yet.

Thus the waiting game continued. Every second seemed to pass slower than the previous one, to the point of it feeling like a never-ending night. His perception of time was still all over the place and even if waiting always made it feel like every minute was actually an hour, never before had it taken as long as it did now.

The adrenaline that had given him energy and had kept him going throughout the night was long since gone and exhaustion was finally taking its toll. Even if the terror that kept resonating through his mind had been keeping him awake, he was so extremely tired, physically as well as mentally and it would be impossible for him to stay awake any longer.

Unable to fight it, he nodded off into a restless sleep.

"Haru-chan. Haru-chan."

The sound of his name softly being called was what roused him from his sleep. His eyes fluttered open and he was disoriented by the world around him. Within a split second the memories of what happened in the last couple of hours shot through his mind and he sat up, noticing that his head had been resting on top of Mrs. Tachibana's lap.

"We can go see Makoto now."

"Is he okay?" Haruka asked, the panic at the thought of him not being okay making every trace of lingering sleep dissipate immediately.

"He's alive. He hasn't woken up yet but his condition is stable," Mr. Tachibana explained.

Overwhelming relief engulfed him and the majority of his worries left his body in the form of a deep sigh. "Oh, thank God."

"The doctors checked his vitals and everything seems to be alright. But we won't know anything for sure until he wakes up..." The last part of his sentence died out on his tongue, but Haruka could clearly hear them: 'If _he wakes up_.'

Without another word they followed behind a doctor who led them through the hallways of the hospital. Eventually they came to a halt in front of a room and the doctor opened the door. Once inside he finally saw him again. Instantly Mrs. Tachibana and Haruka rushed over to him, standing on either side of the bed and grabbing a hold of his larger hands.

The oxygen mask still covered his handsome face and the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor resonated through the room. His body was clad in a hospital gown, suggesting that the nurses had removed his wet shorts so he could warm up more. Next to that there was an IV drip nestled into the skin of his forearm. Everything made sure Makoto would live, now all that was left was for Makoto to wake up.

Haruka clutched Makoto's hand with his, stroking the skin that was still cold, yet not icy like it had been before. Trying to stimulate his blood flow, he rubbed circles on Makoto's hand with his thumbs in the hopes of it warming a bit - and maybe because he hoped that his touch would somehow make Makoto regain consciousness.

The cycle of endlessly waiting resumed but it was a lot more bearable than it was before. He was by Makoto's side and even if he didn't know if everything would be alright, the knowledge that he was alive gave him hope and strength. Of course he would rather have Makoto wake up right now, but having to wait a little longer wouldn't kill him because he reasoned that it made sense that Makoto was unconscious; fighting to stay alive sure as hell wasn't done effortlessly and if none of this were happening then he still would have been asleep. So he was confident: Makoto would wake up. For now, that was the most important. Anything else could wait until later, for he would worry about it when it deemed itself necessary to.

Unaware of his own actions, he lifted Makoto's hand to his lips and kissed Makoto's fingers. The instant he did it he realised his surroundings and the fact that Makoto's parents were right there, but frankly, he didn't really care. Then again, Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana probably didn't care either; after everything that had happened tonight, Haruka pressing a kiss against their son's hand was really the least of their concern.

After an undetermined amount of time spent waiting Haruka could feel himself starting to nod off again. He was conflicted, because he was so tired and now that he was a little more calm he could hopefully have a more peaceful sleep, but he was also afraid to leave Makoto's side, even if it was only mentally. Despite the reassurance of Makoto being alive, Haruka was still scared that the second he were to leave his side he would slip away again.

Suddenly, Makoto's fingers in his hand twitched. Immediately Haruka was awake and alert, looking for any sign that he had really felt it and that it wasn't just his own hands that had moved. Just when he was about to blame it on his own exhaustion and accepted that it was just a dream, a soft groan broke the silence that had settled in the room.

Everyone jumped up at the noise and no one dared to take their eyes off Makoto, afraid that they would miss the moment that would confirm their hopes and expectations. With bated breath they waited and watched.

A frown appeared on Makoto's face and slowly his eyes blinked open only for them to be tightly squeezed shut at the bright light in the room. The hand that Haruka held in his was pulled back and came up to feel at his own face. Squinting against the light, Makoto touched the oxygen mask that covered his nose and mouth, and his glassy eyes he looked at the people that were practically hanging over him.

"Mom? Dad?" he croaked out and then his eyes found his best friend, "Haruka?"

At that moment the mixture of emotions that had been coiling through all of their bodies turned into relief in the form of tears and cries of Makoto's name.

Confused at all of their reactions, Makoto grabbed the oxygen mask and tried to pull it from his face, the cord around it making it impossible for him to do so. So he just held it up as he spoke again.

"What's going on? Am I at the hospital?" he asked, but both his mother and his friend were crying too hard to reply to him, so he looked at his father, "Why am I at the hospital?"

Although his father seemed to be the calmest of the three, he was sniffing deeply and had his glasses in one hand, his other wiping at his red eyes. "You don't remember?" he managed to get out, sounding not as composed as he usually would have been.

"No?" Makoto replied and he tried to push himself upwards when a stinging pain in his chest held him down, his face scrunching up with hurt and discomfort.

Mrs. Tachibana searched for the remote of the bed, doing her best attempt at pulling herself together but she wasn't quite successful. "I'm so glad you're alright," she muttered as she pressed a button, a watery smile stretching her lips.

Once he was sitting up Makoto took the mask off his face, slowly starting to become more and more awake. "What happened?" he asked again whilst rubbing in his eyes, expecting to get an answer this time.

"You almost drowned," Mr. Tachibana provided.

"What?"

The shock in Makoto's voice was clear, indicating that he had no memory of the incident.

His mother sniffled again as she regained her composure, wiping away her tears and she said, "Haru-chan saved you."

"What?" Makoto echoed, looking over at Haruka, who did a worse job at collecting himself.

"How much do you remember?" his father then asked, needing to make sure the lack of oxygen hadn't damaged his memory.

"Uh," Makoto mumbled under his breath as he tried to fit the pieces of the puzzle together, "We were at the training camp, right? I remember that we set up the tents and we swam from island to island. Then we ate pizza and we were going to go to bed, I think?" he hesitantly answered, not sure if he put all the events in chronological order for even if he remembered them, it was all a hazy, blurry mess in his head.

Makoto's parents looked over at Haruka as if to ask if that was right, who nodded in confirmation.

"Still, how did I...?" He didn't finish his sentence but it was obvious what his words were going to be.

The only response he got from his parents was a shrug. Again they had to direct the question towards Haruka instead, for he was the only one here who knew what happened, who was there while it had happened.

Even if the last thing Haruka felt like was revisit the past night and experience the horror all over again, he knew that he owed everyone here an explanation; Makoto's parents, but Makoto himself especially deserved to know. He breathed in deeply as he tried to calm himself down so he could pull himself together and tell everyone what they were waiting for.

Collecting everything and tying it together into a coherent story proved itself to be much harder than it seemed. For the majority of the night his actions had been driven by fear and panic, and even if he had a fair idea of how things played out, he didn't want to accidentally claim something to have happened when it actually didn't nor leave out details necessary to paint the whole picture.

Mind full of scenes that he'd do anything to forget, he blurted out the first thing that established itself as a fact. "It's all Rei's fault," he said and he bit his lips, the simplicity of recalling the time spent on the deserted island being enough to make tears burn in his eyes again. "If it weren't for him..."

He had to pause then, the anger that he had felt earlier that night increasing tenfold and boiling hot in his stomach and he knew that if he were to continue to speak right now then his tone would be furious and he would spit the words out filled with venom. Because he didn't want to speak to Makoto and his parents like that, he tried his best to swallow every feeling of hatred towards Rei, but it wasn't easy when he could have lost his most important person due to that idiot.

Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana did not respond to Haruka putting the blame on Rei at all, but Haruka knew that his resentful words had given them clarity as to why Rei had been sobbing and throwing apologies at their heads.

The more he tried to forget the emotions that this entire night had brought onto him, the more he felt them digging into his soul and he couldn't stop a single tear from spilling over again.

At that exact moment he felt the touch of a hand covering his and he looked up to meet Makoto's concerned gaze. His green eyes were full of worry and Haruka could clearly read the assurance in them. Makoto squeezed his hand and gently nodded at him, encouraging him to continue but only when he was ready to.

Taking another deep breath, Haruka told them everything that had happened from his point of view from start to finish. About how he was woken by Makoto yelling Rei's name, but wasn't fully sure if he had dreamed it or not. That Nagisa and him went to check on their friends - or Makoto specifically in his case -, only to find the tent empty. That he had seen the figures of Makoto and Rei in the raging ocean and that they had ran in to save them. That the only reason for Makoto to be in the sea during a storm was because he was trying to save Rei from drowning - this factor he couldn't stretch enough, only proving to himself once more how all of this was Rei's fault. How the waves had separated them and how he had to drag Makoto's limp body out of the water. About the CPR and the struggle he'd had with making Makoto regain consciousness. About Nagisa and Rei swimming back to get help while Makoto and he stayed behind and waited. About how he desperately had to keep Makoto from losing consciousness. About the boat that had finally arrived and how there was an ambulance waiting for them at the harbor. About the ride to the hospital and the terrifying events that had happened during it. And finally, the agonising waiting without a sign that told them that Makoto would live.

Everyone had been silent while he was talking and no one bothered him to go on when everything was too much and he had to take a moment to gather himself. When his story came to its conclusion for it had reached the current point in time, the silence lingered as they tried to process what they had been told.

Makoto was the one to break the silence after a short amount of time. "Haru, I-"

"He's awake?!"

The voice of a woman interrupted him and they all turned to the source of the sound. A nurse was standing in the door opening and the second they saw her they realised that due to all the commotion they had forgotten to tell the hospital's staff about Makoto regaining consciousness.

From that point on the events of the night were put behind them for the time being as the focus shifted entirely on Makoto's condition. He was asked a whole bunch of questions and he was examined from head to toe.

For the majority of the examinations and tests he got he was moved from one end of the hospital to another and Mrs. Tachibana went along with him, leaving her husband and Haruka behind in the room to wait for their return. Then there was the wait in-between the examinations as they waited for the staff of certain sections of the hospital to arrive or for there to be an open spot in the planning they could squeeze him in.

Sometimes during those times another nurse would come with another list of questions. The basics were always there: name, date of birth, et cetera. The rest of the questions differed from one list to another: some were more focused on his body and physique while others were specifically about his mental state and feelings regarding the situation.

Makoto's answers were pretty much the same to every question: he felt fine. There was nothing wrong, nothing different from how it was before. And he was telling the truth, Haruka could easily detect when he was lying, because he would avert his eyes and he would nervously fumble with his fingers. That was the reason he could tell when Makoto _was_ being untruthful. When he was asked if he was entirely fine and if nothing ached or hurt at all and Makoto confirmed, the signs that were so subtle they could fool anyone but Haruka appeared. So when Haruka called him out on his lie, Makoto scratched his cheek with his index finger and sheepishly admitted that there was a dull ache right in the middle of his chest, but he thought that it was just because of the tension and therefore deemed it as nothing worth mentioning because it would disappear soon enough.

The nurse that was writing down his answers shook his head while he noted what Makoto had told him, reminding him that he had to respond to every question honestly, regardless of how trivial the pain might seem to him.

When the last test he got was over, it was already around noon. Unlike the hours in the night, it seemed as if the morning had flown by, although that was most likely because parts of it were spent asleep on Haruka's part. Even if Makoto claimed that he was perfectly fine, everyone else was a bit more hesitant and doubtful, including the staff of the hospital. Because they deemed it impossible for Makoto to walk out of this unscathed regardless of how good he felt, they kept a close eye on him for the time that remained until the results came in, fearing that things would go wrong when everyone least expected it.

Eventually every result of every last examination and questionnaire came in and it turned out that the doctors and nurses were right.

Two broken ribs.

That was all that Makoto had, all that this incident had left him with. And they weren't even broken because of the fact that he almost drowned, but Haruka had broken them during his chest compressions. The only remnants of this life or death situation were due to his friend giving him CPR, saving him was what hurt him. Although Haruka felt sorry for breaking his ribs, he definitely didn't regret doing it.

Luck, was what one nurse called it. A miracle of God, was the conclusion of another. But Haruka knew that it was all because of Makoto, because Makoto was strong and Makoto fought to stay alive and well. Nothing and no one would take that credit away from him.

Despite the only injury Makoto had being a few broken ribs, it took some time until he was finally released. There was still some paperwork left to do and he was prescribed some heavy painkillers for his ribs - even if he said that it was no big deal, the hospital's staff knew better than that because he was definitely not the first person to ever come in with broken ribs. With every breath he took sharp pain shot through his chest and he needed to have strong painkillers in order to suppress that pain and ensure that everything could heal properly.

Only once everything was finished and check-ups with the Tachibana family's GP were planned, Makoto was released, after he promised he wouldn't hide any sort of pain from his parents and would come back when he noticed anything out of the ordinary.

It was well into the afternoon by the time they got back to the Tachibana residence. As soon as the car was parked and they got out of it the front door was swung open as Ran and Ren rushed towards them, running to Makoto only to be held back by their parents. They were coaxed back inside with promises that the situation would be explained immediately.

Makoto chuckled lightly at his siblings but Haruka was suddenly overtaken by fear that made his throat close up and squeezed all of the air out of his lungs. Unconsciously he grabbed the back of Makoto's shirt, holding him back and preventing him from following after his family.

Feeling the tug on his shirt when he tried to walk forward, Makoto turned towards Haruka, whose head was downturned as he stared at the ground beneath them.

"Haru?" Makoto questioned and at the sound of his voice Haruka's grip tightened. A soft smile appeared on Makoto's face. "Do you want to stay over tonight?"

As soon as the question got through to Haruka he shyly nodded and released his hold, peeking at Makoto through his bangs.

Makoto just smiled again, tilting his head as his eyes closed in that endearing habit of his. Witnessing this familiar sight was what reassured him that everything would be alright and he was so glad that he lived to see Makoto smile again. This sight that he would never take for granted ever again.

"Shall we go?" Makoto asked and the melodic tune of his voice filled not only his ears, but his heart as well.

Once more all Haruka could do was shyly nod at him.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it enough to stick around for the second half :)**

 **I had some trouble with coming up with a summary of this fic so I decided to just state it as it is. Like I mentioned before, I never intended to write this fic, but I always jokingly thought to myself "if I do write it, then I'll call it 'when the obligatory beach episode goes wrong'". Since I was writing this fic I decided to stick with a more serious name because I'm pretty sure I'll regret it in the long run if I give this fic a joke title (there was also a time while I was writing when I thought that "Water Surprise" would be an accurate and cruel title, but I just couldn't do it.)**

 **You can follow me on Tumblr and Twitter DatHeetJoella if you want to be informed of my writing or if you simply want to talk about MakoHaru with me ^^**

 **If it isn't too much trouble, then please consider leaving a review. Every bit of attention my fics receive truly means the world to me and motivates me to write even more. Thank you ^^**

 **I hope you all have a wonderful day and I hope to see you at the second half of this fic!**


	2. Part 2

**A/N: I'm sorry it took a little while to update despite me having it finished already. The only excuse that I have is that I hate proofreading and in most cases I always proofread my fics more than twice before posting them, and I simply didn't feel like proofreading when I could spend my time writing instead. Still, I had to proofread at some point and tonight I finally managed myself to proofread for a final time before updating this fic. I'm sorry for the inconvenience but I hope that it was worth the wait.**

 **This part contains a small reference/spoiler for the novel High Speed! but it's not necessary to have read it in order to understand this chapter.**

 **Please enjoy! :)**

* * *

Later that evening Makoto was lying in his bed, trying to go to sleep. That should have been an easy task; he was very tired not only because of the day's events, but also because the painkillers were making him quite drowsy. And yet, he couldn't seem to fall asleep despite how exhausted he was, mainly because his mind was more active now than it had been all day.

Ever since he had woken up in the hospital the world around him had been a blizzard of emotion and confusion and everything was going so fast that he didn't even try to keep up with it and just let himself be pulled along with the flow of the people around him. From hearing what had happened to being dragged through the hospital to explaining the situation once more to his siblings and Tamura-san, everything had passed him and he couldn't fully comprehend what was going on. Only now that he was alone with his thoughts - and Haruka, who was sleeping in the futon beside his bed - everything really got through to him and he realised that if it weren't for the help of others, he would be dead now. He actually could have died without even remembering it.

But he hadn't. He was still alive, lived to tell the story, and it was all because of the boy that was currently asleep on his bedroom floor. Haruka had saved him, had risked his own life in order to protect his. Without Haruka, he wouldn't be here anymore.

Tears filled Makoto's eyes and he bit his lip to prevent them from escaping. Words could not even begin to describe how grateful he was to Haruka. He would be forever in his debt, for there was absolutely nothing he could do that could compare to what Haruka had given him.

Of course, it wasn't just Haruka who he owed his life to, for he wouldn't have survived if it weren't for the paramedics and doctors. They had kept him alive, but Haruka had given him the air to breathe, the will to live - even if he couldn't recall anything about the incident now it was over, he just knew that he wouldn't have fought as hard as he did if it were anyone other than Haruka pleading to him.

If it weren't for his best friend, he would have lost his life the way he always feared.

All of these thoughts were slowly beginning to sink in and his chest hurt because of something other than his broken ribs.A whirlwind of emotion overtook him and he didn't know what to feel the most, for it all blended together to form a knot in his heart; relief, gratitude, guilt. Perhaps the last one was the strongest.

What if the storm had been powerful enough to take Haruka down with it? What if Haruka had drowned trying to save him? Even if he would have done the same for Haruka in a heartbeat - obviously, the reason this had all happened was because he jumped in to save Rei, and Rei didn't mean even half as much to him as Haruka did - that didn't mean that he would ever be able to forgive himself if anything happened to him.

A deep sigh left Makoto's lips as he turned on his side to face the wall, biting back a small moan of pain as he did so, not wanting to wake his sleeping friend; after everything that had occurred, a good night's rest was something he had definitely deserved. It was useless to dwell on what-ifs. Everything was alright and even if it weren't, there was nothing he could do to turn back time - and even if there were, he most likely would do the same thing over again. He needed to stop focusing on the past and ensure that nothing like this would ever happen again.

Despite him telling himself this, it was a lot more easy in theory than in reality. It was just so unbelievable, he could hardly comprehend that everything he had heard had actually happened. Mainly because he couldn't exactly recall any of it: if he tried hard enough then he could see himself running into the ocean to try to help Rei, but he honestly didn't know if he actually remembered it or if it was a figment of his imagination based off what he had been told had happened.

It didn't really matter. Fatigue was really starting to kick in and it seemed like it wouldn't take long until his body would win from his overactive mind. He wanted it to. All of this pondering was giving him a headache and it wasn't like thinking about this all night would benefit him in any way.

Just as he was about to drift off entirely, cold air hit his back as his duvet was lifted. The mattress dimpled in with the added weight and almost immediately the cold was replaced with warmth as Haruka's body pressed against his, his arms snaking around his waist.

"Hmm, Haru?" he questioned sleepily.

No response was given and only then did Makoto notice that he was trembling.

"Haru?" he repeated more clearly, but when he tried to turn around Haruka's grip tightened and his forehead leaned against Makoto's back.

"Everytime I close my eyes we're back at the island."

Haruka's voice had been so quiet that he almost couldn't make out what he had said. But the more he thought about it, the louder the words resonated through his mind and the fact that Haruka was quivering despite it being toasty beneath the duvet spoke volumes as to what was going on.

Makoto turned around to face Haruka, not completely able to stop a groan from leaving his mouth and he wrapped his arms around him. Immediately Haruka buried his face into Makoto's pectoral. Ignoring the nagging pain in his chest, Makoto returned his embrace, holding him close as he tried to comfort him, the guilt he had felt earlier increasing tenfold.

"Oh, Haru. I'm so sorry."

"I was so scared," he whispered, "I thought I was going to lose you."

Those words hurt Makoto much more than he expected them to and he couldn't think of a single thing he could say to comfort Haruka. So instead, he tightened his arms around him and rubbed his back slowly, allowing him to let everything out without judgement or interruption.

"You just wouldn't wake up. No matter how much I tried, you wouldn't wake up," Haruka continued, pushing his face even deeper into Makoto's body to hide the tears that would inevitably come. "I was so scared. I thought you would never wake up. I can't lose you, Makoto, I can't."

With every broken word that he spoke Makoto's heart shattered a bit more. He couldn't even begin to imagine how terrified Haruka must have been, and the knowledge that he was the one who did this to him, who put him through this, was unbearable. He didn't know what he would have done if he were in his shoes, but he knows that the thought of Haruka dying was absolutely heartbreaking. It would kill him. Although he would give his life for Haruka any day, he wouldn't want him to be the one left behind to mourn for him either; that's why he would never have forgiven himself if he had died today, if he would have left his loved ones behind with an amount grief that was unfathomable to him.

"I'm so sorry, Haru," he muttered, even if that mere apology couldn't even begin to explain how sorry he actually felt.

Honestly, the reason why he felt so sorry was not because of what happened, not because of the taste of loss that his family and friends had gotten, but the idea of it. Because he still couldn't fully comprehend that this had actually happened. It was just so unimaginable. Even if his fear of the ocean was still actively haunting him, the last thing he expected when they agreed to go on the training camp was to have a near-death experience. If anything, all of this made him more aware of his own mortality. He had always taken life for granted, not realising that it could be over in a heartbeat. At any time his life could end so he needed to be more appreciative of the world around him. And the number one thing that he appreciated and was grateful to was currently in his arms.

Unable to control the thunder of emotion, Haruka couldn't stop himself from crying once more. He rambled on and on about the feelings he'd had, but all coherency was lost when his distress overtook him completely and he could only mumble as he sobbed.

"Shh, it's okay," Makoto murmured as he ran his fingers through Haruka's black locks, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay."

Makoto's attempts of consoling did not receive a verbal response, but gradually Haruka's hiccups passed until he was only softly sniffling. But even though his loud sobs had been traded in for quiet sniffs, Makoto didn't stop stroking his back and hair, held him close until Haruka was ready to let go first.

By the time Haruka's crying ceased, the front of Makoto's shirt was wet with tears, but that was about the last thing Makoto cared about. Apparently Haruka felt the same way, because he turned his head to rest his cheek against it, placing his ear over his chest. That action enticed a small groan from Makoto, who despite wanting to keep quiet, couldn't suppress it; Haruka had rubbed against his sternum and the contact made a dull ache shoot through his torso.

Haruka seemed to realise this as he slowly pulled away, and although his heart protested, Makoto didn't stop him. To his surprise - and relief - Haruka's grip around his waist remained, as he merely removed his head from his chest so he couldn't accidentally hurt him again and instead placed his head next to Makoto's on the pillow, tilting it so they were face to face.

Even if the room was dark save for the moonlight peeking through the curtains, Makoto could still make out Haruka's face, his large blue eyes puffy and most likely red. He could get lost in those eyes forever, and although the idea was ironic, he knew he wouldn't mind drowning in the ocean of Haruka's beautiful eyes. Much like the actual ocean, they were breathtaking - but luckily not quite as literally as the real one.

The eye contact was broken when Haruka suddenly averted his gaze and Makoto was brought back from his trance when that small mouth spoke, "I'm sorry."

Taken aback by Haruka's muttered amends, Makoto frowned and asked, "For what?" He couldn't exactly recall Haruka doing anything that would warrant an apology.

"Breaking your ribs."

His voice had been so soft and quiet that Makoto wasn't quite sure if he heard it correctly, but then he couldn't stop himself from giggling a little, immediately regretting it when his chest throbbed with another shot of pain.

"Thank you," he chuckled, a large smile stretching his face and Haruka's eyes met his again, blown wide with surprise and wonder, "for breaking my ribs." Without realising what he was doing he lifted his hand to cup Haruka's cheek, slowly caressing his skin with his thumb. "For saving me. I don't know what I can do to thank you, Haru. Without you, I-"

He halted when Haruka averted his eyes once more and Makoto could feel the skin beneath his palm grow warmer.

"Now we're even," Haruka uttered almost inaudibly.

"Huh?" The second it left his lips, Makoto understood what Haruka meant; he was referring to an incident that had occurred during elementary school, when Haruka had fallen into a river when he tried to retrieve the scarf of a classmate of theirs. Due to his 40 degree fever, he had lost consciousness as soon as he hit the water, after which Rin and Makoto had to pull him out of the river and an ambulance came that took them to the hospital. Luckily he wasn't hurt beyond the flu he already had, but Makoto still remembered how frightened he was. Simply recalling it was enough to make him feel anxious again, despite knowing that it ended well. And that wasn't even half of what Haruka had gone through last night. A new wave of guilt washed over him and he thought that they definitely weren't even, but he knew the last thing Haruka needed right now was to argue about how far in his debt he was. Hard as it may be, they had to try to put the past behind them and focus on making sure something like this wouldn't happen again in the future.

Haruka's eyes still wouldn't meet his but Makoto could see a single tear forming in one of them again, watching as it rolled over the bridge of his nose and seeped into the pillow.

At the sight of that Makoto fell apart and he pressed Haruka even closer against himself, barely even noticing the stinging of his protesting ribs because the wound in his heart hurt far more. He buried his face in Haruka's hair and nuzzled his scalp, wanting to comfort not only his broken friend, but himself as well.

* * *

The next day they were playing games in Makoto's room; Mrs. Tachibana had put Makoto on mandatory bed rest and even though he claimed that that wasn't necessary at all because broken ribs do not require bed rest, once his mother's mind was made up she wouldn't budge. Therefore there weren't a lot of things they could do besides hang around and play some games, so they had settled with a game of Mario Kart, but sans the twins this time as their mother had told Ran and Ren to leave them alone so Makoto could recover and rest properly. It wasn't like Haruka minded: for once swimming was about the last thing he felt like doing.

Despite the fact that these races were normally nothing short of heated and ruthless, there was no trace of that usual competitiveness left because neither of them was really in a fighting spirit at the moment; their thoughts were on completely different things than the game at hand.

Neither Haruka nor Makoto had mentioned anything about the night before, but it wasn't clear if they were pretending it didn't happen or simply didn't feel the need to say something about it. It wasn't like there was anything about it that they felt the need to talk about, and it wasn't like it had made things awkward between them, but for some reason they couldn't help themselves but ponder about the intentions of the other: had it simply been a mutual need for comfort and reassurance, or had there been more behind it?

These sorts of questions only added to the coiling pit of emotion and confusion that resided in the both of them, because of which neither were really focused on what they were doing as their minds were constantly drifting off; although Haruka loved the water, driving straight into the dark part of the sea on 'GCN Peach Beach' was not something he typically did. Usually Makoto would make a teasing remark about it when it did happen, and he would have now if it weren't for the fact that he had been stuck behind the same palm tree for about half a minute without realising it.

Even though it was usually a fierce battle of who came in first and who had to settle with being second, it was honestly a surprise that they weren't in the last places yet after a couple of races. That was, until the next random course was 'Rainbow Road'; one that definitely required a whole lot more of attention than Makoto and Haruka were currently giving it.

Their game of continuously falling off the track was interrupted when there was a soft knock on the door and it was opened, revealing Mrs. Tachibana standing at the doorstep. "Your friends are here, Nagisa and Rei. They've got the stuff you left back at the island. Can I send them upstairs?"

At the mention of Rei's name the foul taste of disdain returned to Haruka's mouth, but Makoto had already said, "Of course" before he had the chance to notice the dampening of his best friend's mood.

Not long after Mrs. Tachibana had left the door was swung open again as Nagisa ran towards them, almost crashing right into Makoto if it weren't for Rei holding him back.

"Mako-chan!"

"Nagisa-kun, watch out!"

"Ah, I'm sorry. I forgot," Nagisa said as he sheepishly rubbed his neck. "I'm so glad you're okay! I told you guys that he would be, I told you!"

"There was no way you could have known for sure," Rei argued, "The chances were very small. Besides, he still has broken ribs."

"Now, don't mind the minor details. I believed in him!"

Nagisa and Rei's meaningless banter was about the last thing Haruka wanted to listen to right now, and it only managed to sour his mood further. He didn't comment on it, though.

"So, Mako-chan, how long will it take until your ribs are healed?" Nagisa then asked, plopping down on the floor and ignoring whatever Rei had said to him. Rei quietly followed Nagisa's lead and sat down next to him.

"About six weeks, probably."

"Aw, that means that we can't compete in the prefectural tournament," Nagisa sighed, clearly disappointed.

"I'm sorry," Makoto apologised earnestly, "I won't be able to swim the relay, but you can all still participate with your individual events."

"I know, but we were all really looking forward to-"

Nagisa's pouty complaint was cut off by Haruka's clear voice, speaking louder than any of them were anticipating. "I think we should disband the swim club."

"Ehh?!" Nagisa yelped and he and Rei stared at Haruka in bewilderment.

"Haru… why?"

Haruka looked away so he wouldn't have to meet Makoto's questioning green eyes, that would undoubtedly be tinged with a bit of hurt.

"It's just not worth it," he brushed off, but then he couldn't stop himself from elaborating a little, "If it weren't for the swim club then none of this would have happened."

It was quiet for a little while because no one knew what to say; they couldn't argue with Haruka's statement but they hadn't expected that such a drastic measure would be proposed, especially since it was coming from _Haruka_.

"I... It's my fault," Rei muttered after a while, head downturned to face his lap. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're alright."

At that Rei looked up and he was met with Makoto's kind, genuine smile. That smile was always able to heal wounds, and if the wound of guilt that had formed inside of Rei was closed up by hearing Makoto's reassuring words, then it didn't take long until it was crudely ripped open again by Haruka's venomous snarl.

"It's not okay. Why were you swimming in the ocean at night?" His blue eyes were full of fire and with a frown he glared at Rei, mentally shooting daggers at him.

Rei averted his eyes once more as he swallowed thickly, unable to find the words to explain himself.

"You were practicing, right?" Nagisa offered, smiling gently at Rei in the hopes of comforting him. "He wants to catch up to the rest of us."

"Yes…"

Haruka sighed and directed his gaze to the pillow beside him, balling his hand into a fist. Even if Rei's intentions had been good, that didn't take away from the fact that he had endangered Makoto with his need to catch up with them. He couldn't simply forgive him for almost taking his Makoto away from him just because he had meant it well. These resentful feelings couldn't just disappear with a mere apology. It would take some time, and right now, Haruka wasn't even sure if he wanted to forgive him.

"Well, not that it matters now," Nagisa concluded with a sigh.

The dissatisfaction that was so obvious in Nagisa's entire attitude made Haruka even more upset than he already was. Makoto had almost died and Nagisa was complaining about some stupid tournament? He should be grateful and overjoyed about the fact that his friend had survived instead of complain about being unable to swim a relay in some unimportant competition. Did he even realise how grave this situation had been?

This only strengthened Haruka's desire to stop with the swim club. So far it was doing way more bad than good.

Sensing the mood he had created, Nagisa looked around for anything that would give him the opportunity to switch topics. "That's right! We brought your bags from the island. Rei-chan and I will go get them now."

"Ah, I'll get them," Makoto said as he pushed himself off the mattress, but Haruka's hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked at Haruka, who merely shook his head, letting his eyes convey the rest of what he meant. "You're right, Haru. Thank you."

Nagisa made a comment about their baffling telepathic connection, but Haruka didn't stay to listen to it as he got up and left the room before Nagisa had the chance to finish his sentence.

"Haru-chan! Wait for me!"

When he got downstairs he saw their duffel bags and his cooler standing in the hallway; the tents were probably put back into storage by Mrs. Tachibana earlier. He crouched and opened the larger, blue bag, beginning to rummage through it.

"Huh?" Nagisa mumbled when he caught up to Haruka, "That's Mako-chan's bag."

"I know." Being able to escape from the suffocating air that hung in Makoto's room wasn't the only reason he had offered to get their stuff. He pulled some things out of the bag so he had a more clear view on its contents. A deep sigh left his lips when he found what he was looking for at the bottom of the bag. He grabbed it and held it to his chest, completely forgetting about Nagisa's existence.

The shirt. They had found it back. How it ended up at the _bottom_ of the bag, Haruka didn't know, but he didn't care either - it was most likely due to his own frantic rummaging. It was a little damp from the rain and was covered in grains of sand, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that it had found its way back home.

"Uh, Haru-chan?"

Pulled out of his thoughts by Nagisa blatantly shoving his existence in his face again, Haruka huffed a little before he put the shirt and the other things he had taken out back into the duffel bag and closed the zipper. Then he got up and lifted it, intending to carry it to Makoto's room when Nagisa spoke again.

"Should I take your bag?"

"Leave it here."

"Why?"

With a frown Haruka turned to Nagisa. "I'm not going to take it to Makoto's room only to take it back down again later."

"Oh! Right." Seemed like Nagisa was a little more out of it than he was previously letting on. Mentally Haruka rolled his eyes before he began to walk up the stairs. "Then why did I have to come along?"

"I didn't ask you to."

"So mean," Nagisa sang, his tone sounding more teasing than offended, unsuccessfully hiding his amusement.

Back in Makoto's room Haruka dropped the bag on the floor and reclaimed his spot next to Makoto on the bed. Makoto proposed to continue their game of Mario Kart, and they all agreed, so he grabbed the remaining two remotes and handed them to Rei and Nagisa, who settled themselves onto the floor right beneath the bed. Even if he did absolutely nothing to give this impression, Haruka could tell that the reason he suggested this was not because he felt like playing a fun game with his friends, but to distract everyone from the elephant in the room and to prevent any more awkward discussions to be held. So he didn't complain and just went along with it as per usual, trying to focus his attention on the game like he normally would have.

And if the vast majority of his red shells hit Rei's kart, then that was purely coincidental.

Nagisa and Rei left later that afternoon. Makoto offered to walk them out but they refused, saying that they would be able to find their way back to the front door without any trouble.

As soon as they were alone again, Makoto softly said, "Haru… I know you're mad at Rei, but..."

He should have been expecting this. Makoto, ever the meddling mother hen, wanted to make sure all little chicks got along nice and fine, without any trouble or fights. And he hated this, because even if he found Makoto's meddling annoying at times, even if he despised Rei with every fiber of his being at the moment, he was weak to Makoto's soft voice and worrying nature, would often go along with it because it was easier than defying and disappointing him. He didn't want to hurt him, never, and he knew that keeping up this attitude would do just that, but he just couldn't help that he felt the way he did.

"Try not to blame him for what happened. He didn't mean for this to happen and he already feels guilty enough as it is." Makoto's voice was low and gentle, like he was speaking to a small animal, afraid to scare it away. Haruka knew that he was trying to convey his message without looking like he was disregarding his feelings. "You don't have to forgive him right away, but try to cut him some slack, please."

He knew Makoto understood that he felt this way and didn't blame him for it, that he just wanted to make things right for everyone so they could move on and put this behind them, so Haruka had no choice but to comply with Makoto's request. "I'll try."

"Thank you, Haru," Makoto murmured with a smile. It was the smile that he always reserved just for him and even though Haruka wanted to capture that smile so he could treasure and cherish it forever, he had to turn his face away at the sight of it as his cheeks grew warmer.

Not wanting Makoto to see him blush, he got up from the bed and stepped towards the TV, extracting the Mario Kart disc from the console. "Let's play something else," he mumbled as he grabbed a random multiplayer game.

The chuckle Makoto gave him in return was a clear indicator that he was well-aware of Haruka's pink cheeks and attempt of distracting them both.

"Alright."

Later that night Haruka went home as well.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay over tonight?" Makoto asked when Haruka was putting on his shoes in the genkan.

"It's not like I can stay here forever." Even if he would have liked to stay longer, especially now, he didn't want to overstay his welcome. He was sure that Makoto's family would like to have some time to reflect on the past couple of days, without him intruding on that. Besides, he didn't want to get used to the feeling of Makoto's arms around him only to have to return to a cold, empty bed in the end.

"I know, but…" Makoto trailed off, trying to find the right words to say, "Will you be alright?" It was the first thing that was said about the night before. He knew just how much Haruka was affected by what happened; the way he had been shaking and crying was not something Makoto would easily forget, and the idea of him having to go through it by himself, all alone and frightened, was absolutely heartbreaking. But he knew he couldn't force him to stay here, no matter how much he would've liked to, he had to take Haruka's feelings into account. Even if his gut told him otherwise, he had to accept that Haruka could determine what was best for him, for that wasn't Makoto's choice to make.

Haruka just nodded as he got up, turning around to face Makoto.

"You're always welcome here."

"I know," Haruka said even if it contradicted his previous thought. Nonetheless, hearing Makoto say it made him feel warm inside. "Thanks."

A sweet smile lit up Makoto's face. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?"

"I'll be fine," he assured, knowing that Makoto worried for him. "I'll come over tomorrow."

"Thank you," Makoto beamed and he bent down to lift Haruka's black duffel bag and cooler. Immediately a dull ache spread throughout Makoto's chest again and he let out a slight groan.

"Idiot! You're not supposed to lift, remember?" Haruka scolded as he took the straps out of Makoto's hands.

"Yes, Mom," Makoto teased, giggling at the look Haruka shot him.

"Go take your meds," he dismissed and he put the straps over his shoulders. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Haru."

"'Night."

Despite Haruka indirectly telling him to go back inside, Makoto stayed to watch as Haruka left. It wasn't like Haruka wasn't expecting it; when he exited the gate and turned back around to the house Makoto waved at him, and he raised his hand in a half-hearted wave back. Only when Haruka was completely out of view did Makoto close the door.

* * *

It was late at night when Makoto was suddenly woken by the sound of this ringtone. At first he tried to ignore it and he buried his face deeper into his pillow in an attempt to mute the noise, but the caller was insistent and didn't hang up. So he blindly reached for his phone and slid it open without looking at the number.

"Hello?" he answered drowsily.

Silence.

Makoto frowned before he repeated himself, but it stayed quiet at the other end of the line. Wondering if the call had been cut off, because he didn't even hear the intake of breath, he took the phone away from his ear so he could look at the screen. Squinting at the bright light, he read the name that was displayed on the screen and immediately the worry he felt overtook every bit of sleepiness.

"Haru?"

A sharp breath and a loud sniffle was all he heard before the line went dead.

The clock on his phone informed him that it was two in the morning, and he sighed. If only he had been more insistent on getting Haruka to stay over. Haruka never used his phone, didn't even know where it was half of the time, so the fact that he was calling him in the middle of the night clearly showed just how upset he was. He probably had a nightmare and needed to make sure that what he dreamt wasn't true. Or perhaps he hadn't been able to sleep at all, maybe he'd been lying awake the entire time with his demons keeping him from sleep and his thoughts eating away at him, convincing him that Makoto could be dying right at this minute and needing the confirmation that he was alive and well.

Whatever it may be, Makoto knew that he wouldn't leave Haruka alone to battle these demons all by himself.

' _I'm coming over_ ' was what he texted Haruka before he got out of bed and walked towards his desk. Grabbing a random notebook from a drawer, he tore out two pages and wrote identical letters on both of them, explaining his sudden disappearance for when his family woke up in the morning. He left one of them on his desk and took the other one downstairs and put it on the dinner table. Then he went to the genkan and put on some shoes and a light jacket before he left to head to Haruka's house.

Once he got there he wasted no time in taking his shoes and jacket off before he sped up the stairs, heading directly towards Haruka's room.

Inside the dark room there was Haruka, sitting on the floor next to his open duffel bag, the floor around him covered in shirts and swimsuits and other miscellaneous items that had been inside of it. He had been staring at the phone in his hands, but when he heard the door open he looked up.

"Makoto," he exclaimed and he jumped up, letting the phone fall to the ground as he practically tackled Makoto, encircling his neck with his arms as he buried his face into his shoulder. "Makoto!"

Despite his broken ribs, Makoto was still able to keep them upright. With his right hand he cupped the back of Haruka's head and with his left he pressed Haruka closer against himself, wanting to comfort his crying friend.

"It's okay," he whispered into Haruka's ear. "I'm here. It's okay."

"Makoto," Haruka sobbed, almost hyperventilating as he tried to talk more, but nothing but whimpers left his mouth.

"It's okay," Makoto repeated, "You don't have to say anything."

Haruka only nodded and tightened his arms around his neck, like he was afraid Makoto would slip away if he were to loosen his grip. Even if the way Haruka was leaning on him ached a bit, Makoto didn't mention it, didn't do anything but hold him, softly rubbing his back and murmuring little reassurances to him.

After all, Makoto thought he deserved some pain, because he was the one who was putting Haruka through this. Because of him, Haruka was experiencing this agonising terror, so the very least he could do was hold him and comfort him even if it meant that his chest would hurt. Not that he wouldn't comfort Haruka if this wasn't his doing; he'd do anything for Haruka and he would never want to see him cry or in pain regardless of who inflicted it, wished for nothing but for him to be happy, so the knowledge that instead of bringing him that happiness, he brought him fear and anxiety, hurt him far worse than a few broken ribs.

And yet, at the same time, seeing Haruka so distressed because of him made him feel warm inside. He hated himself for feeling this way, but he couldn't help the rush of hope that filled him when Haruka reached out to him like this, showed him that he cared for him in a way so genuine and pure, that it made him wonder if maybe, just maybe, Haruka cared about him just as much as he cared about Haruka. And even if seeing Haruka like this was unbearable to Makoto, he was glad that he was able to be here for him; he wouldn't want anyone else to be in his place. He wanted to be Haruka's rock, his ever-present support, but he felt like he had already failed that task for even allowing this to happen.

These were all very selfish thoughts, but as guilt-ridden they may be, they were thoughts actively coursing through his mind nonetheless.

Still, having to hold both Haruka and himself up cost Makoto a lot more energy than it usually would have, with the painkillers weakening his muscles with drowsiness. So he shifted his hold on Haruka's body and picked him up, carrying him over to the bed before sitting down on it. He sat back against the headboard and adjusted Haruka - who was still clinging to him - in his lap so his legs were over on one side and he could still bury himself in his torso.

Softly caressing up and down his arm, Makoto cradled Haruka against himself while Haruka tried to collect himself. It was to no avail.

"I just can't get it out of my head," Haruka admitted and his hold on Makoto's neck loosened as he pulled back his right arm so he could grab onto the front of Makoto's shirt.

"Oh, Haru," Makoto sighed, figuring that what Haruka needed was a distraction from it all. "Try to think of something else, something nice… It's almost your birthday."

"I can't, Makoto," Haruka sniffled, shaking his head with his eyes squeezed shut as he clutched Makoto's shirt in his hand, "I can't."

"That's okay. It's alright," Makoto said and he began to gently rock him, instinctively doing what he did whenever he had to calm down one of the twins. He didn't want to seem like he was trying to rush him, because even if it hurt to see him like this, he wanted to give Haruka all the time he needed.

Tears stung in his own eyes but he tried his best to suppress them. Right now, comforting Haruka was his main priority; he had to be reliable, so Haruka could depend on him like he always depended on Haruka.

One of Makoto's hands was raised towards Haruka's face and he stroked his thumb over his cheek, catching the teardrops that were rolling down his skin and wiping them away while his other hand kept rubbing Haruka's back in a slow, soothing rhythm. Without thinking about what he was doing, Makoto pressed a small kiss against Haruka's temple, after which he nuzzled the locks of hair that fell beside it.

Haruka leaned into his touch, then he adjusted himself in Makoto's lap so they were face to face with his legs on either side of him. For a second their eyes met and Makoto resumed caressing his back with his left hand while his other came up to wipe the tears on Haruka's left cheek away.

Once more Haruka's arms wrapped around Makoto's neck and Haruka hid his face in the juncture of his shoulder again. He wasn't crying anymore, instead taking long, deep breaths, like he was trying to ground himself. Breathing in the sweet, familiar scent of home was the final little push that made him capable of collection himself.

While the stuttering breaths regulated into a normal pattern, Makoto played with the soft strands at Haruka's nape, tickling the skin lightly with his fingertips.

After a while Haruka leaned backwards so his weight didn't partly rest on Makoto's upper body anymore, but he remained seated in Makoto's lap.

A soft smile appeared on Makoto's face and he ran his hand over Haruka's arm. "Have you calmed down a little?"

"Yeah," Haruka said with a small nod. "You're still scared of the ocean, aren't you?"

Makoto was taken aback with surprise at that question. He hadn't expected Haruka to bring the subject of his fear of the ocean up in this conversation. For a second his smile faltered before it was replaced with a more melancholic one.

"I thought I'd gotten over it. But when I saw Rei drowning, I completely froze. The memory of that day immediately surfaced." He bit his lip and averted his eyes, trying to suppress the emotion that always came along with recalling that fateful day. "I'm so sorry I dragged you into this," he apologised sincerely and he looked back into Haruka's eyes, who in his turn looked away again before he spoke.

"It's not your fault."

"But," Makoto objected, "I was the one who decided to hold the camp, and I chose to start the swim club. But that was because I wanted to swim with you again. I wanted to swim in a relay with everyone again. But… If you're not there…"

He paused for a second to look at his lap, and when he looked up again his eyes met Haruka's.

"It's meaningless without you! I want to swim with you!"

A soft gasp left Haruka's lips at Makoto's heartfelt words. Those vibrant green eyes held every bit of love, adoration and devotion that his words had conveyed as well. If there was something in this world of uncertainty that Haruka was absolutely certain of, then that was that he loved Makoto with all his heart, and that Makoto loved him, too.

Slowly he lifted his hand to Makoto's face and cupped his cheek, stroking his skin with his thumb like Makoto had done to him earlier. There was still no resistance in Makoto's gaze, only affection. So Haruka closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Makoto's.

Contrary to what he was expecting, Makoto didn't kiss him back, but he didn't pull away either. Thinking that he may have been taken by surprise, Haruka changed the angle of his kiss, turning his head slightly to the right as he softly kissed his lips. But there was still no response.

Pulling back with a small frown, Haruka stared at Makoto in bewilderment and asked with a quiet voice, "What's wrong?"

Hesitantly Makoto looked at Haruka before he sighed and softly asked, "Are you sure about this?"

Haruka's frown deepened at Makoto's question. Of course he was sure about this, otherwise he wouldn't have kissed him, would he? And he was sure Makoto had wanted it, too. So the way he was phrasing this now only confused him more. "What do you mean?"

"I just…" Makoto started, but he didn't continue.

The love that Makoto felt for him was still ever-present in his eyes, but there was a tinge of pain that hadn't resided there before Haruka had kissed him. For some reason Haruka hurt him with his action while Makoto's eyes had told him that the desire for a kiss was mutual.

At this point Haruka didn't understand what was going on anymore so he had no choice but to wait for Makoto to find the right words to explain himself.

"You're emotional, Haru," he stated after some time, "You've been through a lot these past few days, and you're confused. I don't want you to misinterpret your feelings."

Misinterpret his feelings? If there was anyone who was misinterpreting his feelings, it was Makoto. Haruka put his other hand on Makoto's cheek as well and he turned his face so he could look into his eyes while he spoke, so he could convey his true feelings both verbally and non-verbally.

"Makoto, I love you."

"I love you too, Haru, but-"

"Then what's the problem?"

"That _is_ the problem!" Makoto grabbed Haruka's wrists and removed his hands from his face, holding onto them instead and pressing them against his chest. "I love you, Haru; I loved you before this happened, I love you now this is happening, and I know I'll love you when all of this is over."

Makoto's voice was small as he spoke slowly. With every word Haruka's chest felt both lighter with relief but also heavier with the sentiment that Makoto was expressing. To hear him declare his love for him in a way so genuine and unadulterated, full of sincerity, was better than anything he could have wished for, but although it made him indescribably happy, it only confused him more. Because he failed to see why that was a problem, when to him, that was the opposite of a problem.

"Makoto…" Haruka softly sighed, his tone somehow containing every emotion that he felt.

"I just," Makoto said again, "I want you to feel the same; I don't want you to wake up one day and realise that you don't actually love me. That you mistook your feelings for love, when you've never actually loved me the way I love you…"

The sadness and desperation in everything Makoto expressed was so painful to watch. It was obvious that saying this hurt Makoto immensely, because this was something that he wanted so badly, but was afraid of having if in the end he would just lose it again. He was trying to prevent the both of them from getting hurt in the long run, and he didn't want Haruka to regret this. It was almost cruel, to have the thing he wanted most in the entire world inside of his reach, but too scared to get it because he would ultimately lose it again. At least, that was what Makoto believed.

But Haruka knew better than that.

"Makoto," he murmured, wanting Makoto to meet his eyes again so there would be no misunderstanding on Makoto's part anymore, "I love you. I have always loved you, even before you almost drowned, I knew I loved you, I just… never really thought about it twice. Because loving you is so natural to me, because you being by my side is so natural to me that I didn't realise that at any moment, you can disappear. I saw you as a constant in my life, I… took you for granted. But then you almost drowned and I thought I was going to lose you forever. I was so scared, and I told myself that if we would be lucky and blessed enough for you to survive, then I'd never take you for granted again. Then I would treasure you and cherish you like you always deserved to be. Because I love you, Makoto. I always have, and I always will."

With his cheeks glowing bright red from embarrassment, Haruka pointed his face towards his lap, trying to hide behind his fringe. He had said too much, he had definitely said too much, but he couldn't help it: as soon as he started all of his feelings came flowing out of him at once. He had needed Makoto to know that his feelings weren't temporary or superficial, that the love inside his heart burned with a fiery passion that would never smolder. But still, talking so much was not like him. Perhaps Makoto was right about him being emotional; even if that didn't invalidate his feelings, he was expressing them in a way he normally wouldn't have, at least not so easily or elaborately.

Silence lingered for longer than Haruka would have liked and every second that ticked by with no response from Makoto made him more nervous. He couldn't take it any longer and when he looked up he was met with Makoto's mouth hanging slightly open and his green eyes sparkling with wonder and amazement.

"Makoto…?"

At the sound of Haruka's voice Makoto's expression changed and he released his hands, pressing his left hand against his mouth as his eyes filled with tears. Haruka's eyes widened at Makoto's reaction to his confession; he didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't for Makoto to cry.

"Haru," Makoto sighed as some of the tears spilled over, then he removed his hand from his face and giggled, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry I'm just… so happy."

A bright smile lit up Makoto's face that only proved his elation and the sight of it filled Haruka's heart with joy. He couldn't do anything but smile back at him, perhaps not as widely as Makoto's smile, but just as blissfully. His hands cupped Makoto's face again and he rubbed Makoto's tears away, which made Makoto chuckle again.

"I just don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Haruka said, repeating what Makoto had told him earlier that night.

In return Makoto wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face into his shoulder, hiding his large smile in his skin. Automatically Haruka hugged him back, closing his eyes as he rested his cheek onto Makoto's shoulder and he sighed in contentment. Unconsciously he squeezed Makoto's body a bit and immediately an involuntary groan escaped Makoto's mouth. It startled Haruka a little and he pulled back slightly, but then he remembered and simply loosened his hold.

"Sorry."

"It's alright," Makoto muttered, leaning his head backwards so their eyes could meet again and Haruka took the opportunity to rest their foreheads together.

Every single one of his fears and worries evaporated into thin air as he stared into Makoto's forest green eyes and he felt nothing but love and affection filling every last bit of him.

Exactly two days ago time had frozen as his world stopped turning, an icy feeling of dread and despair taking over him. But now, time was standing still because they were the only two people in the world, completely filled with warmth and tenderness. Two days ago his heart was beating out of his chest with adrenaline and anxiety, but now it was thrumming with excitement and anticipation. Two days ago he had never been more scared in his entire life, and now he was feeling happier than he ever had in his entire life.

Unable to stop himself from smiling again, Haruka carded his fingers through Makoto's hair, after which he cradled Makoto's cheek. Makoto disentangled his arms from around Haruka's neck and wrapped them around his waist instead, pulling him just that little bit closer.

"Can I kiss you _now_?" Haruka teasingly asked, amusement that slipped into the phrase preventing him from sounding too serious.

Makoto laughed lightly, the pleasant sound resonating through the dark, empty room and it made Haruka's belly buzz with butterflies. "Yes, please."

Their noses bumped when they both tried to close the distance between their lips, and Makoto giggled again before he nuzzled their noses together. Haruka smiled at the cute and endearing gesture and then he tilted his head and finally pressed his lips against Makoto's.

It wasn't the first time their lips touched each other, but it was the first time they met in a mutual kiss. It was a little clumsy, because at first they simply pushed their mouths together, but as the seconds ticked by their lips slowly parted and locked, kissing in a way that neither of them had experienced before, but it was still absolutely mind-blowing. Haruka's lips were even softer than Makoto had imagined and the sensation of feeling them against his own was even better than he ever could have dreamed; Haruka basically melted at the feeling of Makoto's mouth brushing over his so tenderly and his left hand joined the other on Makoto's face, cupping his jaw like he just had to hold onto him in order for him not to be swept away by the gentle touch of those plump lips, for it was even better than he had expected. Never in his life had he thought that something as simple as a kiss could feel this good, and if it was already this amazing the first time around, then he was already looking forward to every single kiss they would share in the future.

Makoto's arms tightened around his waist and he softly sighed into the kiss. Haruka's heart swelled with affection at the sweet and gentle way Makoto held and kissed him, like he was the most valuable and precious gemstone the world possessed - and knowing Makoto, he probably did think something sappy like that. Still, it made him indescribably happy to know that Makoto loved him and the excruciating pain and fear he recently experienced felt like centuries ago, because at the moment, nothing but feelings of adoration and fondness coursed through his veins. It was exciting and new, yet it was also comfortable and natural and perhaps even like everything else was with Makoto; he usually didn't like change, but Makoto always provided that bit of familiarity that made him feel safe regardless of the challenges life brought onto him. But in this case, it didn't even feel like it was a change in their lives, but rather the next logical step. Their relationship wasn't going to change, it was progressing and developing into something that was always meant to be.

But he didn't believe this was fate; he didn't think that he wouldn't have realised his feelings if it weren't for the incident at the training camp occurring. No, he loved Makoto and Makoto loved him, so this happening was inevitable. With the way things had gone, he had been forced to open his eyes abruptly, but he firmly believed that he would have opened them to the obvious truth sooner or later. And even if he still would have vastly preferred that, he couldn't deny that every bad situation had a positive aspect: the more time he could spend inside Makoto's arms, the better.

No matter how much they both enjoyed the kiss, it had to end at some point. Reluctantly they parted but their faces stayed close, unable to pull away completely. Makoto leaned his forehead against Haruka's again, the mere touch igniting a spark that made Haruka feel like his body was on fire. The kiss had left them a little breathless, and Haruka hadn't known that something like sharing air with someone you love could be so intimate - honestly, the idea of breathing into someone's face sounded really silly and weird to him, but the feeling of Makoto's breath fanning against his skin only made him feel closer to him, it made his heart overflow with love.

Apparently, Makoto felt the same way, because he sighed and whispered, "I love you so much."

A smile threatened to stretch Haruka's face once more and he couldn't help but steal another chaste kiss from his lips. It hadn't been long since they shared their first kiss, but Haruka could already feel himself becoming addicted to Makoto's sweet lips. When he pulled back he began to softly caress Makoto's cheeks.

"I love you too," he murmured back, keeping his voice low so he wouldn't disturb the ambience of tranquility that surrounded and enveloped them, "so much."

It seemed like their minds had never been more connected than they were now; Makoto initiated another kiss and Haruka gladly obliged. He ran his fingers through Makoto's hair as he added a slight pressure and Makoto moved one of his arms up higher on his back, his large palm warm and welcome against Haruka's body.

This kiss didn't last as long as the first one, but just as much love was expressed with it. Haruka encircled Makoto's neck intending to rest their foreheads together again when Makoto suddenly pulled away.

Surprised at the sudden movement, Haruka was startled for a second before he snorted at the sight of Makoto covering his mouth with his hand to hide a big yawn.

"Sorry," he said after it.

"Am I that boring?" Haruka jokingly asked.

"No," Makoto sang, "I'm just very tired; it's the middle of the night." While he was speaking Haruka also yawned, and Makoto chuckled at the sight. "See, you're tired as well."

"I'm not tired," Haruka defended, "Yawning is just contagious." The way he rubbed his eyes while he spoke contradicted his statement.

Makoto wasn't buying it either, but he decided to humour him. "Let's just go to sleep, alright?"

Even though the last thing Haruka wanted was for Makoto to leave, he couldn't help but ask, "What about your family?"

"I left a note before I came here," Makoto simply explained, and Haruka was really satisfied with that answer: that meant that there would be no rush when they woke up tomorrow.

Haruka lifted himself off of Makoto's lap and lied down on the mattress instead and Makoto followed his lead and pulled the blanket over them. Once they were both settled beneath the covers Haruka closed the small gap between their bodies and entwined their legs, pressing his feet against Makoto's calves and he put his arm around Makoto's waist. Makoto raised his hand towards Haruka's head and began to stroke Haruka's hair out of his face and behind his ear.

Despite him feeling much warmer and safer than before, Haruka couldn't help but fear that the nightmare that brought Makoto here in the first place would resume if he went back to sleep. Even if Makoto was right beside him for comfort and reassurance, the terror that he felt when he woke up was something he'd rather never experience again.

Noticing the apprehensive look on Haruka's face, Makoto pecked his nose to gather his attention. "I'll stay awake until you fall asleep," he offered with a gentle, understanding smile, "In the meanwhile, we can just talk."

The compassion in Makoto's words and the soft look in his eyes made a small smile appear on Haruka's face. Makoto was trying to distract him from his thoughts and he really appreciated the effort he was willing to put into his comfort; he knew how tired Makoto was, and yet he wanted to keep himself awake for his sake. He was apparently really good at reminding Haruka why he loved him so much.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"It's almost your birthday," Makoto said again with a cheeky smile and Haruka snorted at the way Makoto managed to bring that subject up again.

"You're really passionate about birthdays today," Haruka remarked while he tried to suppress a smirk.

"Not just any birthday, _your_ birthday," Makoto emphasized, "Is there anything you'd like to have?"

"I don't need anything," Haruka simply stated and when Makoto tried to object, he elaborated, "I've already got everything I could have wished for and more right here."

"Haru," Makoto breathed at Haruka's profound, heartfelt words. He was honestly way too adorable and Makoto couldn't help but want to kiss the feelings right off his lips. So he did, and he could practically taste the sincerity and love in the kiss that was short but incredibly sweet. Once he pulled back, he continued, "Still, there must be something you want to have, right?"

"Another kiss?"

Makoto chuckled, "I'll give you plenty more of those, you don't have to ask for them." To prove it, Makoto placed another tender kiss onto Haruka's mouth. "I mean a real gift. A present that I can wrap and give to you."

Even though he thought it was unnecessary for Makoto to give him something tangible when he had already given him everything his heart desired, he knew that Makoto wouldn't be satisfied with just giving him his love, so Haruka tried to think of something else that he wanted.

"Then… a new swimsuit?"

"Haru…" Makoto sighed in a mix of endearment and defeat, honestly not knowing what he had been expecting when this answer was so typically Haruka. "I meant something a little more special; something meaningful. You already have more than enough swimsuits."

"Swimsuits are special and meaningful to me. Besides, you can never have enough swimsuits." Haruka didn't see the problem; if Makoto was so insistent on buying him something then he'd rather get something he actually used often instead of Makoto wasting his money on something he didn't need.

Makoto didn't have the strength to argue with him, so he just accepted that as an answer. "Anything else other than a new swimsuit...?"

Their conversation didn't last much longer after that; after muttering some stuff about mackerel and the preferred preparations of aforementioned fish, Haruka drifted off to sleep. Makoto was glad about that, because he thought that Haruka deserved some rest and because he was also on the brink of nodding off.

But before he lost consciousness entirely, he pressed a small kiss against Haruka's forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Haru-chan."

* * *

The next morning Makoto helped Haruka pack his duffel bag again; after a little persuasion, Haruka agreed to stay over at the Tachibana residence at least the upcoming couple of days. They didn't tell Makoto's family about the development in their relationship, but judging by the knowing looks and smug smiles Mrs. Tachibana shot their way, they didn't have to.

On Haruka's birthday, a small party was held at Makoto's house: Nagisa, Rei and Kou came over and Mrs. Tachibana served salt-grilled mackerel and chocolate cake - when she had asked him what kind of cake he wanted, he had requested Makoto's favourite kind because he wasn't fond of sweets any way and the chances of her making a mackerel cake were practically zero. Makoto did end up giving him a new swimsuit - and a whole bunch of kisses - so Haruka was content and eager to use it.

Although he was still a little bitter towards Rei, he tried to push those feelings away for the sake of keeping a nice and pleasant ambience. But it was in vain.

Kou left a bit sooner because she wanted to catch the train before it got dark, and as soon as it was just the four of them left, Rei managed to rub him the wrong way: he brought up Makoto's odd behaviour when he tried to save him. Haruka immediately told him to drop it, dismissing any questions he might have had as flare of protectiveness burst inside of him. But Makoto objected, thanking Haruka for wanting to protect him but saying that it was okay; this was something that he wanted to share with Rei and Nagisa.

So he told them about his fear of the ocean: about the old fisherman and the goldfish that he gave him, about the typhoon that made the fisherman's boat sink and how many of the people on board drowned, about the goldfish dying even though he took care of them as best as he could, about how all of that rooted the fear of the ocean inside of him, the fear of something unknown lurking in the dark deep waters.

When Haruka could tell that talking about it so freely and openly was becoming too much for him, he cut him off, not wanting him to relive that intense fear again. After listening to Makoto's reasoning Rei's face drained from all colour, and knowing that he was feeling even more guilty about his actions now made Haruka feel the slightest tad better. For Nagisa, hearing the story of Makoto's past sparked the question of why he agreed to hold the training camp in the first place, to which Makoto simply answered that he wanted to swim with them.

Even if Haruka hadn't been entirely keen on the idea of Makoto sharing something so personal and sensitive and painful, he couldn't deny that it hadn't been a bad decision. If anything, it made the amount of respect that Nagisa and Rei had for him increase tenfold.

In the end, they didn't disband the swim club. Despite Haruka being so steadfast about it when he first brought it up, after hearing Makoto's motive behind starting the swim club in the first place, he didn't want to stop with it anymore. Because he wanted to swim with Makoto too.

With Makoto's encouragement they continued their practice like usual, but now focusing all of their attention on their individual events rather than dividing it between individuals and the relay. Makoto still came to practice, sitting on the edge of the pool with his legs in the water and he and Kou timed them and tried their best to coach them when Coach Sasabe was absent.

The resent that Haruka felt towards Rei gradually decreased and he decided to forgive him for what had happened. Even if he never said anything about it, it was obvious that Rei was really glad with that decision. In time, Rei also stopped blaming himself for what had truly been an accident that no one could have foreseen.

At the tournament they ran into Rin, who had been told what had happened by Kou. Makoto took this opportunity to talk to him about what happened during middle school. Rin's response was lukewarm at best, but Makoto had said what he wanted to and with that he left to cheer on his friends.

None of them placed for their events, but they had tried their best so all they could do was continue to train in the hopes of advancing to regionals next year, this time with Makoto and the relay.

Some time later Rin showed up at their practice. He had thought about what Makoto had said to him and wanted to patch things up with his old friends, because he realised that life is too short and too fragile to dwell on the past. At first the rekindled friendship between him and Haruka was still stiff and awkward, but as time passed they learned to truly put the past behind them and focus on the future instead.

For the first months after the incident Haruka still suffered from frequent nightmares and flashbacks that terrorized him. In the beginning they came so often and were so bad that Makoto and his parents advised him to go see a therapist so he could get help with processing the traumatising experience, but Haruka refused. He wasn't comfortable with recalling and discussing his feelings when it came to something that hit him so deeply in his heart, especially with a stranger, and he believed that talking about it with Makoto would help him far more. The first days were the worst and luckily Makoto was right there to hold him and comfort him until he calmed down again. As time passed the episodes became few and far in-between, but he always had that fear at the back of his mind. He doubted if he would ever get over his fear of Makoto dying entirely, but Makoto supported him and loved him throughout all of it.

Even if he felt that this accident hadn't made them stronger, it made them more cautious, more appreciative of every second they could spend with their loved ones; this accident hadn't made Haruka stronger, Makoto did, with his unconditional love and support and Haruka felt like it didn't matter what hardships the world threw upon them, as long as Makoto was by his side, he could take on anything.

Throughout the years, their relationship that was built upon love and comfort and trust never wavered. Even though the aftermath of that fateful night never completely left them, they had pulled through. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in their lives and they were excited to experience the rest of their lives together.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading! ^^**

 **If you enjoyed this fic then please let me know :)**

 **Either way, if you have any questions or comments or simply want to talk with me about MakoHaru, you can find me on Tumblr and Twitter DatHeetJoella**

 **Thank you so much for reading, I hope to see you at my next MakoHaru installment and for now, I hope you have a lovely**


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